i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
