i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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