(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
