She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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