I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
