I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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