Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
