What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
