he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
