Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
