Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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