I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
