I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Someone came in the potted fern
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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