It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
