There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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