ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
