using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize