ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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