There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was CRYING into my vagina
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
