She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Do vagina's smell?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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