there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
