AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
