nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
