bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
