I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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