I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just want to make out with him forever
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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