Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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