I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
