I only kidnapped one of them. chill
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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