omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
