It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
