Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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