wat bout pragnant strippers??
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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