Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
