A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
