been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
