He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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