we're chasing vodka with high fives
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
