i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
