My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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