My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My penis needs a shock collar
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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