so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
