just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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