He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
