How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have feelings that need drinking.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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