remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
