i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Houston, we have a blender
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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