i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
