Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he thought i was a dude.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
