You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
