We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
