just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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