Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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