So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
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