Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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