the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
