Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
