Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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